And so it goes
26th September 2001, 2236 hours
Location: my room
Weather: drab
In the vase: tumbling tea tree flowers
Soundtrack: Eva Cassidy, Songbird
US was full of music tonight. Everywhere I walked there were
people making music, tiny circles of sound in the quietness of the night. The faint,
tranquil sound of a dizhi wafting up from the Lovers' Park. A couple of Christians
singing and strumming a guitar. A lone student playing a harmonica at the bus-stop, raw and
scratchy like an old record. Clarinets duelling in the Centre For the Arts. And the NUS
choir rehearsing Billy Joel's "And So It Goes".
...I spoke to you in cautious tones / You answered me with no pretense; / And still I feel I said too much / My silence is my self-defense.
It's been one of those days, though I can't think of any particular reason for it to be one of those days. It just is. A moodswing, I suppose. I've been slipping slowly over the past few days, and now I'm a little blue. Nothing to worry about, really. It's not as if I don't know how to handle these things. In fact I'm so familiar with them I can predict this'll probably get somewhat worse before it gets better. But get better it will.
...And so it goes, and so it goes / And so will you soon I suppose...
I was going to go to town to check out a book today, but didn't in the end. It was late, for one thing, and I figured I could always do it another time. I do actually have work to do, after all. And so I mucked about in the library for a bit, then went up to the sixth floor balcony, outside the library, to sit. The world went by below, still fairly busy along the road - people going home. I sat cross-legged, breathing, coat in my lap, bag by my side. For some reason I felt as if I were travelling again, living out of my bag. I liked the feeling. I wonder if I'll actually go anywhere this year, and where that might be.
...But if my silence made you leave / Then that would be my worst mistake...
(What do you get when you fall in love?)
...So I would choose to be with you / That's if the choice were mine to make. / But you can make decisions too...
Do do do do do do do do.